Sunday, May 24, 2015

The Fall

" Everyone that you meet is fighting a battle that you know nothing about. Be kind always."

It was a stormy day and dark clouds dominated the sky.

   Our biggest enemy is ourselves. I have said it before, we become our children's inner voice. We choose what that sounds like. Every interaction is a permanent mark on their brain.
   If you choose to be negative and unloving; the person that grows out of that is damaged. It may not be tomorrow or the day after that, but, the damage is there. It hides and waits for its chance to do harm. Like a grape vine on a tree. The vine takes root and slowly chokes the tree out until there is no tree left.
  When that, (now grown child), goes their lifetime without that vine being trimmed; the tree crumbles and falls.  Sometimes it is the person that you least expect. The crisis that ensues is a controlled chaos. You are left in an exhausted heap on the floor.
   How do you move foreword? You can't un see the brokenness, it won't just disappear. Finding help is an overwhelming task. Yet it is your only real solution.
   We have to take it one tiny step at a time. Someone told me the other day little elephant bites... one tiny elephant bite at a time, (yes it fits). I can do this and so can you. This is a part of life and this is true love.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Moms

  Since today is Mother's Day I have been thinking about what makes a woman earn that title. You frequently hear the phrase, "Anyone can be a father, but it takes a man to be a Dad." The same sentiment goes for moms.  There are so many things that make a mom, well, a mom. The older that my kids get, the more that I realize just how small of a roll pregnancy and birth actually play into that title.
   My oldest was an emergency C-section and my youngest was a planned C-section. There were only three months between my pregnancies. I felt a huge load of guilt. I had several friends who were pregnant at the same time. They had fast deliveries without complications. I fed into the beliefs that I had heard. If only I had used a midwife? If only I had cut out dairy in my last trimester? The thoughts were looping in my head... Non stop. The reality is that no matter how your child makes it into the world, they are alive. End of the story.
 
As time has gone on, I have found that nobody talks about it. No one cares about how your six year old was born.
   None of that matters now.
  
  One of the other factor that doesn't diminish or make your momhood less... mom like, is how you became a mom. How you got pregnant or if you adopted doesn't make you less of a mom either. I also know quite a few step moms who are far more involved than the birth mom,(aka womb donor).
   Being a mother has very little to do with how that child came into your life or how they came to be. What matters is what you do after he or she does.
  You become a mom during the sleepless nights spent comforting. All of the countless hours you spend making sure that your child's needs are met. The everyday, mundane tasks that we don't make a grand event of. Those are the moments where your love grows. That is how you become a mom.
   I want all of the woman out there to who aren't able to ever carry a baby within their body to know, you can still be a mom. The life long, unconditional love is what defines a mom.

For those who are, those who have yet to be and those who have been. May your day be blessed and your love honored.
Happy Mother's Day!